8. Stand out.
Someone has to. It is easy to follow along. It can feel strange to do or say something different. But without that unease, there is no freedom. Remember Rosa Parks. The moment you set an example, the spell of the status quo is broken, and others will follow.
-Timothy Snyder, On Tyranny
I Stand Out
“Nicely done,” Gary said as he pulled a bottle of good bourbon and two shot glasses out of his briefcase. “You’re a good woman, and unfortunately, because of your race, white people like him will try to push you around, badmouth you and do everything they can to make you look bad. Especially jerks who assume you’re an EO hire. You don’t have to be mean to be a good boss, but you must be firm. You can’t hide, so be good at standing out. In fact, be outstanding, because you are.”
I took Gary’s advice to heart. He became a mentor, and we are still dear friends.
I don’t claim to be outstanding at anything. However, I’ve become good at owning that I stand out. When I attend Jewish events, I assume I will be among the few, if not the only Jewish Person of Color. I know that I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why I am present or how I’m Jewish. In majority People of Color settings, I used to be the only Jewish person present. That occurs less often these days, especially in large gatherings.
While I have moments of shyness, I am not shy. I own the complexities and intersections of the roles I have as Grandma, Mom, Ma-in-law, Shelikhat Tzibur, chaplain, writer, storyteller and so much more. Most importantly, I own my humanity and the unmistakable truth that I am almost always in situations where I stand out. So, I own that I stand out. As for being outstanding, that’s for others to decide.
