Ever since I was a teenager in the 1960s and a young adult in the 1970s, I have seriously explored a variety of spiritual disciplines that have, over time, guided my inner life. Music, not commonly understood as a spiritual practice, engaged my soul then and continues to thrill me by revealing a hidden world of exquisite beauty and feeling. It connects me deeply to other musicians and spiritual seekers. Several Eastern philosophies, especially Buddhism, have guided my daily experience over the years, deepening my capacity for joy through the ups and downs of life.
In the last 15 years, Mussar practice has been the most compelling path for me, continuing to inspire and console me in deeply affecting ways. It has provided a clear model and powerful methods to pursue a holy life, and it has helped me to feel closer to my own conception of God, which continues to evolve.
I began as a student at the Mussar Institute, founded by Dr. Alan Morinis, and I have been enriched by the many Mussar va’ads (groups) that I have attended and more recently led. Like so many others, I have found Mussar to be a robust path for both expanding my spiritual life and changing my behavior through study and self-reflection. Mussar goes beyond analyzing ethical principles because it offers a concrete, time-tested methodology to create significant behavioral change.
You Shall Be Holy
Rooted in the Bible and ancient rabbinic literature, Mussar is a set of spiritual ideas and practices that have guided Jewish seekers for centuries. Today, its profound wisdom, an inheritance available for all Jews, has been rediscovered; and it speaks powerfully to a growing modern audience. Specifically, the Torah makes our life’s challenges very clear: “You shall be holy.” This phrase, a commandment from God to us, appears six times in the book of Leviticus alone.
Mussar has provided a clear model and powerful methods to pursue a holy life, and it has helped me to feel closer to my own conception of God, which continues to evolve.
Discovering and following a path to fulfill this challenge is the lifelong pursuit that the Mussar tools, described below, are designed to support. In addition, we have an important personal resource: Each of us has an inner drive to make something better of our lives; this subtle impulse is a spiritual urge, an innate drive toward spiritual refinement. By pursuing the practice of Mussar, we access the energy needed to become holy.
The modern Mussar movement began in the 1840s in Lithuania, founded by Rabbi Yisrael Lipkin Salanter, whose genius was expressed in the following Jewish principles:
- Each of us is born in the image of God, betzelem Elohim, possessing a spark of the Divine within us. However, that spark is not always successfully expressed in our day-to-day lives. Sometimes, we notice that we have missed the mark at a particular moment and that we have not behaved the way we would have wanted.
- These moments may feel like a problem. If we have experienced them many times, we may wonder what has become of our spark of the Divine. In contrast, Mussar sees them as opportunities to elevate our holy souls.
- With the support of powerful Jewish resources — ancient and modern texts, wisdom from our ancestors and elders, and the community around us — we can improve ourselves. Since we each have unique life experiences, personalities, inborn resources and limitations, we each have a custom-made “spiritual curriculum” to rebalance our soul traits.
In the modern Mussar text Everyday Holiness, Alan Morinis, spells out one of the big-picture goals of the practice, using questions to guide us as we “follow the pathway of spiritual ascent.”
He writes:
In the Shabbat liturgy, the words of Isaiah are paraphrased to have the angels asking, “Where is the place of God’s glory?” This question is repeated every week, and it needs to be our constant question as well. “Where is the place of God’s glory?” [1]
Even if you have no answer, even if you have no belief, or even if you do have faith, you must continue to ask the question and seek new insights because certainty is the end of faith, and questioning is the pathway of spiritual ascent.
In practice, Mussar is a comprehensive Jewish spiritual path that asks powerful questions to guide our candid and courageous self-assessment. It gives us a window into the quality of our relationships with ourselves, with others and with God. It is often described as virtue-based Jewish ethics. The goal is to cultivate discrete soul traits or middot (middah for singular) such as Patience, Enthusiasm, Order and Strength, each of which enables us to grow spiritually and ethically.
We, who practice Mussar, are always learning about the role each middah plays in our lives as we aim to cultivate the sweet spot — not too much, not too little — that will help us fulfill our unique spiritual curriculum to live a life of spiritual ascent. If our courageous self-inquiry shows that we are underusing or overusing a particular middah, the path ahead becomes very clear: we use the tools of Mussar to identify opportunities to make adjustments in our behavior.
There are time-tested methods for addressing these blockages to our natural connection with the sacred. These include: text study (with a study partner, teacher, or group); brief, structured journaling; use of reminder phrases; and experimenting with small changes in our behavior.
- Text Study: First, we read about the Middah we have chosen to cultivate. There are lots of Mussar texts to choose from. These speak most strongly to me:
- Everyday Holiness by Alan Morinis, as cited earlier. A comprehensive introduction to Mussar and a steady companion along the path.
- Cheshbon HaNefesh (Accounting of the Soul) by Rabbi Menachem Mendel Levin. First published in 1812, it teaches very sophisticated psychological techniques for developing positive character traits.
- Mussar Yoga: Blending an Ancient Jewish Spiritual Practice with Yoga to Transform Body and Soul by Edith Brotman. An excellent overview of the history of Mussar. Emphasizing the power of the physical realm, as well as the contemplative realm, it takes us closer to self and God.
- Reminder Phrase: Guided by text study, we select or create a short phrase as a reminder of our goal throughout the day and post it on the computer or bathroom mirror. If the focus is on Compassion, the posted phrase might be: “Everyone I know is fighting a battle I know nothing about.” Or perhaps, we might borrow the reminder phrase about Compassion in Everyday Holiness: “Kindness, empathy and care arise from standing so close, feeling what the other feels.”
- Journaling: The next step is to make brief notes at the end of each day, capturing any act of compassion we have provided to another or anything we even noticed that engendered thoughts about compassion that day. After a week or more, journal entries are reviewed for patterns to guide future behavior. This kind of reflection can be supported by working with a Spiritual Director, a group, or a trusted friend. If there is nothing to write, a technique for strengthening the journaling habit is to write: “Nothing to write tonight.” This little trick can keep the journaling project on track.
When I began Mussar journaling, I was surprised to find how helpful it was. It almost always clarified an underlying pattern that had been, until then, invisible to me. The method is simple: One is focused on a particular middah, Order, for example. Brief notes are made to capture anything that might have happened that day with regard to Order. Just the simple facts: what happened and any thoughts, feelings or actions that might have ensued. No analysis or explanation is needed yet. After a week or two, reviewing the notes may indicate an imbalance in the soul trait of Order. Perhaps too much or too little. If so, some rebalancing may be required. Using the tools of brief, structured journaling is essential to the practice of Mussar.
Mussar goes beyond analyzing ethical principles because it offers a concrete, time-tested methodology to create significant behavioral change.
How Mussar Works Over Time
The early years of one’s Mussar practice tend to focus on life as a whole — our relationships with ourselves, with others and with God. After working with Mussar for a time, we discover an unexpected reward: Doing the work gives us the knowledge and skills to examine and learn about a variety of other specific life experiences, such as friendship, leadership, family dynamics or becoming an elder. In short, we develop the capacity to look at life’s broad experiences through a Mussar lens. We simply reflect on our experience of friendship, for example, asking ourselves which of the many Middot are most relevant to address and which, if rebalanced, could enrich our friendship circle.
Not too much, not too little
None of the Middot has any intrinsic value; rather, the value of a particular Middah depends on how we use it. For example, we think of Generosity as a positive soul trait because throughout the Torah and the Psalms we, as Jews, are commanded to practice Generosity “to take care of the widow and the orphan.” But if we overuse Generosity in our family life, we might unintentionally overindulge and spoil our children. Conversely, we tend to think of Envy as a negative trait because we notice that it saps our energy and undermines our self-esteem. But if it serves to motivate us to work harder, it can certainly have a positive impact. Thus, the consideration of too much or too little is a valuable exercise for cultivating holiness.
Transforming the Heart
A traditional hallmark idea of Mussar is that our changed behavior itself also changes our heart in ways that may be subtle, mysterious and profound, as we find ourselves living a more holy life, releasing our small spark of the Divine in a new way. As we say: “Mussar teaches the heart what the mind already understands,” by offering concrete exercises, as guides to action, not just abstract ideas alone.
Our changed behavior itself also changes our heart in ways that may be subtle, mysterious and profound.
For example, early in my study and practice of Mussar, I became interested in working with the soul trait of Honor. I took on an exercise (kavannah) designed to clarify the way Honor plays out in my daily life, especially when I am around other people. I decided to focus more than usual on others and, when encountering them, to warmly greet them even before they greeted me as a way of honoring them. As I am a confirmed introvert, this exercise required some considerable effort on my part. After a week or two, I began to feel far more at home in groups, especially when I had no particular role to play that would guide me. I found I could enjoy these brief greetings — simple human exchanges. This kavannah, a small and simple exercise, had a significant impact on me and, I believe, on those who received my greetings.
To be honest, even after 15 years of study and practice, some of the other Middot remain challenging for me. For this reason, I find it best to work with a hevruta (a learning partner), a va’ad (a small group of trusted friends) or a Mussar teacher. All three of these structures provide both support and accountability and have served me very well in pursuing my “spiritual ascent.”
Why study and practice Mussar in a group?
There are many possible benefits:
- To become more aware of your inner experience by hearing others’ perceptions of your behavior.
- To become more able to share or disclose a full range of emotions with courage and candor.
- To become more empathic and supportive of others.
- To learn how to glimpse the divine Source of All by trusting others and being trusted by them.
Mussar and Group Dynamics
When I first discovered Mussar, I was an organization consultant working as a leadership coach and team building facilitator with nonprofit leaders and corporate executives. I remember leading one team-building retreat that revealed a strong Mussar connection, especially the soul-trait of Responsibility. The team was working hard to decide about their goals for the coming year. After a full morning of debate, two factions formed, each promoting a different course of action. The leader of the team, who was known as a consensus builder, knew that the best decisions are based on widespread agreements. Unfortunately, no clear consensus was emerging. I was struck by the fact that she observed closely but gave the team no indication of her own opinion.
According to the Mussar tradition, one of the foundations of human relationships is that we are responsible for one another. When we are focusing our Mussar practice on Responsibility, we remind ourselves throughout the day with the phrase: “I am your guarantor; you are my guarantor.” Especially in a leadership role, there is an important responsibility to monitor and manage the productivity and morale of your team members.
Over lunch, the team leader expressed her frustration at the slow pace of progress toward a decision. I talked with her about responsibility as an important foundation of leadership. She readily agreed with the concept, but she didn’t see a way to apply it to her team. I suggested that there was an unspoken request among her staff: They wanted her to demonstrate her understanding of the two sides of the debate and to make the choice for the team. She quickly understood and asked for my help in planning her response to the team during the afternoon session. And with this help, she successfully guided them to a decision. She recognized her responsibility as the leader to provide the group with what it needed and to find the resource in herself to provide it.
The Torah makes our life’s challenge very clear: “You shall be holy.”
Cultivating Forgiveness
Most aspects of Jewish life are meant to be carried out communally, rather than by oneself. Mussar is no different. Years ago, after some Mussar practice, it became clear to me that I want to be more forgiving, especially toward my older brother, who sometimes treats me like the annoying baby brother I probably once was. I notice this when he talks to me in a way that feels dismissive or judgmental. But wanting to be more forgiving does not automatically make me feel and behave in a more forgiving way. It takes time and work to develop this capability.
Fortunately, I have several trusted hevruta partners and friends who provide me with support and accountability. They asked me how the “forgiveness project” was going. I trust them enough to answer candidly and to receive their support, as well as their advice, and this has helped me to improve my relationship with my brother. A va’ad that is facilitated well can produce the same benefits: mutual support, accountability and trust.
Belief and Behavior
As a tool for raising one’s level of holiness or spiritual ascent, Mussar has a real superpower; it is equally useful when applied to our relationship with ourselves, with other people and with God. In other words, it meets us wherever we are on our journey toward holiness.
We often separate action and faith, ethics and spirituality. In fact, they are all strongly intertwined. What we believe and experience in our hearts and souls is manifested in our behavior. Conversely, our actions give us a 24/7 indicator of the state of our hearts and souls. With its focus on behavior, the practice of Mussar sheds light on all these intertwined aspects of our inner life as it helps us pursue our spiritual curriculum.
Not all issues of belief are directly addressed by Mussar. Over the past few years, I have found working with a Spiritual Director to be very helpful to me, but that’s another story for another time.
[1] Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar, p. 239.
